Half year

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

Today work announced we are rolling into a new financial year, it also marked halfway into 2025.

Bella has been having bad headaches, I am worried about her, but M did get her to see our GP. All checks seem to be normal, hope she recovers by end of the week.

Work today taught me a lesson, if anything is unclear, instead of wondering about it, go and ask. The more I ask, the more I know. The more I know, the better decisions I can make.

Listened to a podcast from a Chinese female film maker. She had her 2nd baby 8 weeks ago. On day 4 post birth she attended the screening of her film. Two things she mentioned really moved me:

  • We always think life happens in steps; we hope to finish one thing and then move on to another. The reality is many things occur at the same time: baby, career, health, illness, birth, and death. Life is chaotic; it does not fall into your plan.
  • Being a mother, you be at work missing your child. Yet, when next to your child, you want to be alone. There is the constant feeling of guilt. She was asked why she would want to be a mother. Why would she choose motherhood if she craves her freedom? Why would she choose it if she wants time to create her work? She answered that it was probably due to the curiosity of different stages of life. I find that really relevant to me. I was curious what it was like to be mother. No one can tell you, you figure out your own way being a mum along the way.

So here is a new month. We are looking forward to our trip. Hope we are all healthy and strong for the rest of the year.

First Time at a Sound Bath Yoga Session

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

8 am Pilates class was pretty good, body felt happy after movement. Then went for swimming. Did 30 minutes of laps. It was really good to get back into the pool again. Last time it was with Bella swimming at our hotel’s pool in Hainan.

Saw on the booking app the Yoga studio had an evening sound Yoga session, it was for almost 2 hours. I decided to give it a try. it was my first time to try sound bath. The room was dark. Everyone was lying on the mat. In the middle of the room, there were many different types of instruments on a mat. Candles were lit. There were two teachers guided us through the session. Half way through it, I really wanted to go to the bathroom. But I felt concerned. If I moved in and out of the room, I will interrupt my fellow classmates’ state of deep focus. So I decided to wait. After a while it did not bother me much. Interestingly, in my mind, many people who had passed away came to visit me. I wonder if it is a purpose of this type of meditation, it quiets down the noise of daily life. Providing a window of special break for the ones from the past to come and say hello. The different sound also provided different sensation to the body. Some sound made my scalp felt tingling, some affected the limbs feeling numb. I think I will try it again, as my mind felt relaxed and clear afterwards.

I wonder back in the very old days, there is no digital device, no electricity. After a day of hunting and gathering, or working on the field or farm, people gather. They come together to experience this type of meditation. Where there isn’t much entertainment, maybe people look inward more? I read in a science fiction novel once. It suggested that all the entertainment we heavily consume these days are tools for aliens to control us. The purpose is to delay our self awakening.

Last night, I read one chapter of a book on perception. How our brain can only keep snippets of information from the past. Our perception of the current moment is based on past memories and prediction on the future. Our memories can trick us. The brain is designed to make certain shortcuts. Sometimes, it prevents us from experiencing reality as here and now. We constantly jumping into what the future will hold if we choose to act now. So we rarely focus on this very moment. For example, while I am typing these words, I am also thinking about who will read them. How people would react to my thoughts? What this really taught me was affirmation to what my therapist once told me “your thoughts are not reality. Thoughts are just thoughts. They feel real, but they are not”. To know this can be liberating if the mind sometime is consumed with negative thoughts.

This week has been a packed one. Tomorrow will be my day with two kids while M plays golf. I will see how to make the most of this Sunday, make it relaxing and fun for us all.

Tough Thursday

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

It seems to be a week of being a lazy parent. First we missed out on B’s school learning showcase day. Today we forgot to send Ingrid to daycare with some vegetables, they were making soup for Matariki.

Went to work feeling tired and a numbing headache. Last night, Ingrid and I both coughed a lot. It’s the winter bugs. We are fine during the day, but can’t stop coughing at night. Ingrid keeps saying she is not sick, so she can go to Norway. Poor little one.

My headache gives me brain fog. Good thing is at work we have a wellness room, where I can relax for a bit. It helps to just go in a dimmed lighted room closing my eyes and sit there for a while. It smooths out the headache a bit. I am curious what causing me having these headaches every month, I think it is hormone level related.

I was proud of myself to be at Pilates class this evening. This teacher had the best playlist , I pushed hard, chose all the hard level options. Felt much better after my body moved a bit. When I came home I told B that if you ever have a hard day, best thing to do is to move your body. Hope she remembers what I told her, coz one day she will need exercise to help her get through some long days.

Went for a walk during lunch time, had delicious lunch. When I sit in front of something I really enjoy to eat, I tell myself this is the reason to work. So I can appreciate meals like this to treat myself and enjoy the reward of working.

Hope the weekend is going to be a good one, after this week ends, then we are 3 weeks till the trip begins.

Working in a law firm

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

I have been working at a law firm for 6 weeks now. What an interesting world it is! Everyday is different. Let me capture today.

  • Woke up 6:30, get ready for breakfast.
  • 7:45 everyone out of the house, drop off kids
  • 8:40 got into the office
  • 9-12pm emails, preparer documents, translate emails to clients who don’t speak English
  • 1pm found a little boy in the reception who was crying and looking for his mum, talked to him in Chinese and found his mum. Then kept him and his younger brother entertained, got them some biscuits, while their mum sorted out stuff
  • 1:30pm went to an event about e-commerce, payment, regulations around selling online
  • 2pm back to my desk, more emails, phone calls to clients to confirm meetings, follow up on their billing stuff
  • 3pm realised missed out on my child’s school learning day.
  • 4pm went back to the e-commerce event, learnt that TikTok ads can’t be more than 30 seconds, better have the CEO hold a phone talking about stupid things for 30 seconds than making it longer
  • 5pm on the way to pick up kids from school and daycare, traffic was mad, was late for pick up
  • 6pm dinner was take away sushi for kids, leftover for adults
  • 7pm kids played my phone to take a dancing video, they watched 30 mins TV then bedtime
  • 8pm did my home exercises after kids fell asleep, listened to podcast for 30 mins
  • 9pm got in my room opened my laptop and typing these words

Three things I learnt while working at a law firm:

  1. it is a fast paced high pressure environment
  2. professionals take their time very seriously, no wasted time for random chats
  3. if I want to stay in this place longer, need to find things truly add value to the firm and do them well

I am not sure how my network will be relevant to what I am doing now, but I do believe focus on doing everything to a good standard. Overtime, I will find my own pace and unique attribute to this place. I love the seriousness of the job, also it is a beautiful environment, filled with smart people.

I trust with time and patience, I will enjoy what I do more and more.

Hello

by liyangsthoughts, posted in Anything and everything

Its been two years since my last post.

If not because the subscription got renewed, I almost forgot that I had a page here to capture snippets of my life.

Life has been full of changes. I have turned the page into chapter 4. If there is one change about me, I would say I am getting good at making the ordinary moments extraordinary. Life is not about accumulating lots of experiences, but to make the few exceptionally good.

The journey of parenthood has its up and downs. Having two beautiful, healthy and happy children are a true blessing. When I see my children’s faces, hearing their laughters, they bring me back to the core of life. It is all about love, care, and trust. I am grateful for these little people’s complete trust in me. Earlier today, I told Bella I am trying my best to be a good mum, she was playing a toy and did not even look up, just casually and firmly said :”you already are the best mum.” There are so many moments like this, my children bring out the best of me, and of course sometimes, the not so good parts of me.

I am also at a cross road of my career. My current role’s funding is coming to an end. I have been having lots of meetings with people I trust and admire. I am grateful that so far, every meeting request I have sent for a chat, has been accepted. These conversations gave me encouragements and reassurance for my next step. I am actually enjoying this period of change, it helps me to look further into my values, strengths and weakness. It gives me space to reflect and also consider the meaning of “working”.

Half of 2024 is already gone. I wish the next half continue to be filled with good conversations, meaningful daily activities, enjoyable weekends, lots of delicious and soul filling meals. Most importantly, everyone in my orbit have good health, in delightful spirit.